Journey of...

I'm not really sure honestly. Jason said self-exploration. I guess that would be right. Teaching myself to be accountable. Maybe. I'm kind of confused on it. It just seemed like a good idea, the "right" idea, to have this blog and focus it on me. I guess we'll see how it goes.

To start off with, I'm trying to be healthier. A healthier weight. Better eating habits. Consistent exercise. It's a good place to start I think.

Then there's the whole outlook on life thing. I often wonder if a person can be depressed and feel content at the same time. How I can be so angry and bothered by so much while at the same time I'm feeling content and happy. It really has me confused. I'd like to figure out what is going on with that.

I'll be weighing myself on Mondays. I know a lot of people would look at that in shock, after all the potential for a big gain on Monday after a weekend of relaxing is there for most people. My weekends aren't much different than my weekdays. The kids often have school still on Saturday or Sunday because we homeschool and the kids will often take a day in the middle of the week to screw around or focus on something else, like getting their chores done. Jason works most weekends because of his job. I think a weigh in is a great way to start a week off.

I'll post my goals for my weight loss. What I want my exercise goals to be. How I'm eating. I'm going to try to post daily what I've eaten. I want to try to be more accountable that way so I know how I can make changes, see the areas I need to improve. Right now, I'm trying to have more protien and fewer carbs in my daily diet. I'm using smaller plates and eating smaller portions. Because I eat a lot of home made meals, I won't be doing any strict calorie counting.

I want to document my progress on my craft projects. I have materials for all kinds of projects that never get done. Things that could be gifts. Things that we could use ourselves. Things that would be nice touches to our home. I want to use a majority of the materials with what I already have. If I need something more to complete it then that is fine. However the project needs to use predominantly what is already here in this house.

Cleaning and organizing are on the list. Honestly, I'm lazy. I hate to clean. I'm anal in my organizing. Because I'm anal, I don't start because I hate to stop part of the way through. I end up making a bigger mess while trying to organize than there was to begin with. I need to teach myself to take smaller steps. That even a little bit done is much better than doing nothing. That goes with the crafting as well.

I need to keep my goals realistic and attainable and then do the follow through. That means actually doing instead of just hoping it will happen. I won't be surprised if I end up bitching a lot about it all. It will suck. I know that at the end of it, once the goal is attained, it will be worth it, but I'm lazy and the effort will suck.