Sunday, September 12, 2010

Monday Is Weigh In

So I'm getting back on the ball. It's part of this whole organization thing I'm doing. I can't expect change to just happen. I need to do it myself. I'm looking at my life and pointing at things that need change in some way and just doing it. I don't like doing it. I'm not enjoying doing it. But I am doing it. Maybe it will become habit. Maybe it won't. Jason supports the change so it's all good as far as I can tell.

I shoved myself through 18 of 20 minutes of a yoga workout tonight. I really do need some more stretching. And my fat gets in the way. That's rather humbling.

I've been working on a book with my therapist about adults that were abused as children. She is having me read it and then journal how I'm feeling about what it is saying. It's a crappy exercise that I hate. It's eye opening as well.

I kind of feel like things are finally coming together, making more sense, working themselves out. Financially we are still in a shitty place, but that isn't going to change in the immediate future. We have things that we are doing to help change it, but they aren't overnight fixes. Eventually, one day, I'll be able to go back to work. That will help us when we are old and our children are grown and gone. For the moment, we'll make things work now.

My ex is a moron. I need to figure out how to accept that. I know he wouldn't appreciate me laughing at him, but I think I need to start doing that more and stat allowing him to upset me less. He's not worth the energy or the time.