Back to Journaling

I want to get back to doing this. I think it really helps when I do it. I don't know if it'll be daily, but at least a couple of times a week.

I won't be doing any yoga tonight as I had hoped. Unfortunately I was hit with a migraine shortly before Jason left for work. It really sucks when that happens!

I did have a juice as my dinner. While I'm sure the shot (or 2, I didn't measure) of pineapple vodka negated the healthiness of the juice, it certainly helped me relax a little.

I have been doing miserably with eating lately. Too much crap. Jason bought me a juicer and I try to use it at least once a day. It'd be nice to get into the habit of using it twice, but we'll see how it goes. Part of that is the cost of the produce. Food is getting more expensive and for reasons that only the corporate people know of, the crappy food costs less than the good for you stuff. What is that about anyway?

While I am going to continue to weigh myself, I'm going to try to start basing my weight loss more on how my clothes fit. My current goal is go one shirt size down. If I go one shirt size down, it'll be that much easier to find something that fits comfortably. I could wear it now, but it'd be too tight for my personal comfort. I spend all day dealing with different kinds of stress and difficulties, I don't have the tolerance for clothes that aren't comfortable to wear. If it's tight or pulls in a weird way, I'm not wearing it, that simple. It's why I don't wear heals. Makeup just takes too much effort, the same with doing my hair in any way aside from a simple braid or pony tail.

Well that is all for right now. I'm hoping that shortly we'll be able to have the tower fixed so that I can edit all the photos I've taken this summer. It died unexpectedly about 2 weeks ago. I think it's the power source, at least I hope that it is. That's a very easy fix to make.

Starting Fresh

I know it's Thursday and not Monday. Honestly, Thursday is my slow morning around here so probably the best one to start out with a weigh in. So let's pretend it's Monday and go from there, shall we?

Weight was 291.4. I'm glad to see it not much closer to that dreaded 300 mark, but it is definately not where I want it to be. My long term goal is to get about 100 of that to disappear. Honestly, I'd be happy to get it so that first number is a 1. I know that I will always be curvy and soft and round. I know I'll always shop at Lane Bryant to find good fitting pants and bras and panties. I'll never be seen as the "ideal". I'm ok with all of that. This isn't a journey just of weight loss. It's a journey of self acceptance too. Stoking my own ego, improving my self perception, allowing how I feel to show through in how I look. Thankfully, Jason is on board. Those things are hard to accomplish when your loved one doesn't want change of any kind.

My food for the day goes as follows (I'll update through the day)

Breakfast at 9:30 - 2 english muffins with 2 tbsp (the serving size) of honey nut cream cheese between them
Lunch was at 3:30. big salad and a Little Debbie Valentine's snack cake. I need to get better at eating more through the day. I know that will help how I feel over all.
dinner was at 8. Baked Spaghetti and 2 pieces of whole wheat garlic toast.
snack of ice cream cone
middle of the night I had a slim fast shake

Over all the day wasn't too bad food wise. Water was 3-4 16.9 oz bottles. 1 can of Cherry 7 Up.

You'll often see my day start with a Slim Fast shake. While I appreciate that they are meant to be a diet tool in the extreme sense (the Slim Fast diet is only 1000 calories a day, that's ridiculously too few), I use it as a meal replacement for when I'm on the go. It's very convenient to grab a can, a bottle of water, and the book I'm reading while I go to whatever appointment is scheduled for that morning.

You'll also see the Special K snack bars quite a bit. I like them. I like the fact that I can get flavors that aren't chocolate. They are easy to grab when I'm feeling a bit hungry.

I'm trying to add more fruits and veggies. I'm hoping a regular thing will be a big salad for lunch. My salads consist of cucumber, spinach, lettuce, green pepper, shredded carrot, mushroom, grape tomatoes, grilled chicken, blue cheese dressing, and a small handful of croutons. The dressing isn't low fat. You won't find me eating most low fat foods. I feel that full fat is better for you than a bunch of chemicals and added salt/sugar.

My exercise for today consists of:
yoga 20 minutes

I'm hoping that as time goes on, that increases in time, but also variety. I have some aerobic options available, pilates, and I want to get the Just Dance for the wii.

While I will be mindful of how much I'm eating, I am not going to focus on specific calorie count. That is very hard to do especially considering most of my food is home made from a variety of ingredients.

The twins alphabet video is over and amazingly my floor isn't TOO taken over with toys, so I'm off to yoga. Prayers and blessings and have a great day everyone.